mylife.mystory

Thursday, December 16, 2004 Y

8:17 AM

how i wish tt someone could lend a shoulder to cry on..buT..Halx.. ToDaY da cadets tell mi tt dey dun wana join footdrill com.After so many training dan they come tell us..we put in so much hope n efforts...but it all ended up in a drain..sobx.i felt lky breakin down but i couldnt cry infront of dem..so i had to hurt myself by hidin feelings. today i shouted at 2 cadets..i taught dem long commands since the beginin og tis year..n dunno wad happen to dem..they kept doin da wrong thing..my heart reali hurts..my effort juz gone lky tix..how u expect mi to carry on to be in a higher position(chair) nxt yr when i see tt da unit is going to fall veri soon..its not easy to bring a unit up when all the cadets r not entu in foot drill n other stuffs but only recreation??? i realli gona lose faith in them..how r the next gona take over when their footdrill r so.......halx..onli 3 NCOs r concern..da rest lky...dun bother at all..wad they expect? wad they wan?? do they understand how we feel??? i guess tt they dun..y m i also da one hu is gona shout at them?? i dun lky such thing..

i neo wad i'm thinkin is not right at all.but i neda say things out.i cant keep everything to myself. how i wish i could b lky da past..no shoutin..no stress..no sadness...when i took over as d VC..mani things happen..esp between council n RC..at first my cher didnt regard mi as a VC..she look at mi as if i'm not a rc member..sobx..how m i goin to work wid her when she dun even bother..halx..n now she wants mi to b da chair fer nxt yr..i guess kelwin siad was right..when ppl need u dey will look fer u..if dey dun need u dan they wont even bother abt u..halx..i realli dun c any hope in tis unit liaox..can someone tell mi sth?? i really doubt i wud wana take over ths yr..i dun wana change into another person..i wan the way i m now..

my mum oso dun understand mi oso..she say i keep goin to sch everyday..i go to sch everyday is coze i got things on de lox..dan she keep complaining...halx..how i hope she jux understand.. wheneva i tell her how i feel..i will kanna scoldin from her wan..sho..i kept alot of things to myself..
monday-meeting
wednesday- training n guitar lesson
thursday-meeting
friday-training
saturday-rehersal at 5pm
sunday-function at VCH